It feels like this is going to be the hardest part of this whole experience. Preparation. I hate… hate packing. Anything that has to do with putting clothes into boxes to be moved miles away makes my heart falter. I’m not the most organized person that you will ever meet. I like things neat and tidy, but that just means my junk is all put away, not that there is any sort of order. Packing means putting an order to my chaos… I suppose the same can be said about my heart right now. I don’t mean to say that my heart is a wreck, but there are plenty of things that I want to work on before I leave for Peru.
I just got off the phone with a friend. We were talking about our days and he asked me how I was feeling about Peru and if I felt like it was still where I am supposed to go. The answer, of course, was yes. It’s undeniable how the hand of God is working in my life right now.
When I first decided that I was going to go to Peru a lot of my excitement was emotional. I felt such a God-high, which is good! Then, after it wore away and I started telling people about it I was slipping toward the wayside in doubt. I had been reading Hebrews and the first few chapters were about faith and that’s what kept me going. Something that God has been working on me a lot with is a passion to be working with these people. When I got the call after my interview I was stuck in the revelation that I didn’t know anything about this culture, I wasn’t intrigued, and I really didn’t much care. I knew my heart was looking very ugly.
Over the past week and weekend God has just been opening my eyes to see with His eyes in clarity. Today I was reading through some of the blogs of one of the missionaries that is already down there and just the way she was talking about her host family and the culture and traditions started getting my cultural interest pricked. I was telling my friend tonight that I had honestly been perfectly okay with the idea of not going to Latin America ever again, and being called there by God was a bit of a conflict of interest. I really wanted to go to Europe. But, this is just one area where I’ve packed my heartcase… I have a few more rounds to go.
The weather lately has been a blessing. The rain last night was so refreshing. I opened our living room windows last night to let the house cool off. It smelled so fresh in the morning. God’s creation is beautiful.