Ohmigosh. I don’t think I’ve ever realized how much of a control freak I can really be! It’s not absolutely horrible, such that other people would know. I think this is why I’m the wack-job that I am these days. I blame my mother for my disposition. I am tightly-wound and wired and find that I get anxious over little silly things. I am afraid that when I get older I’m going to have heart issues because of this.
Anyway, I’ve been focused on this issue the past few days. It’s not that I wish to control physical things, it’s more like situations, or relationships. I am so afraid that one of my friends will need me and I will be unable to help them from my distance. How do I be a friend one can count on with all this distance! I want to tell me friends, you can call me if you need to talk, but the real truth of the matter is… they probably can’t. That makes me sad… and I have no control over it, and that makes me mad.
I want to be able to help my friends, but I have to realize that God has called me on elsewhere and He will take care of the rest here at home. I’m going to have contact, but distance makes things hard. My prayer these past few days has been that I do not loose any friendships.
The other place I’ve realized I have way to much control over is the kitchen. Good luck future Mrs. Allen.