Freaking Control Freak

Ohmigosh.  I don’t think I’ve ever realized how much of a control freak I can really be!  It’s not absolutely horrible, such that other people would know.  I think this is why I’m the wack-job that I am these days.  I blame my mother for my disposition.  I am tightly-wound and wired and find that I get anxious over little silly things.  I am afraid that when I get older I’m going to have heart issues because of this.

Anyway, I’ve been focused on this issue the past few days.  It’s not that I wish to control physical things, it’s more like situations, or relationships.  I am so afraid that one of my friends will need me and I will be unable to help them from my distance. How do I be a friend one can count on with all this distance!  I want to tell me friends, you can call me if you need to talk, but the real truth of the matter is… they probably can’t.  That makes me sad… and I have no control over it, and that makes me mad.

I want to be able to help my friends, but I have to realize that God has called me on elsewhere and He will take care of the rest here at home.  I’m going to have contact, but distance makes things hard.  My prayer these past few days has been that I do not loose any friendships.

The other place I’ve realized I have way to much control over is the kitchen.  Good luck future Mrs. Allen.   



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2 responses to “Freaking Control Freak

  1. :O) I know where you are yet again because I was there exactly 4 months ago. I have learned(not so easily) that the world does go on without us being there to support it. However, we aren’t that far away that we can’t still help our dear friends out in their time of need. I have had several opportunities to help my friends since I’ve been here. So be encouraged amigo that God has it under control so you don’t have to. Those friendships that are suppose to remain will, I’m very confident in this!

  2. I must’ve missed this one in the past, because i don’t recall reading it.
    i understand what you mean, because being in Texas for five years, i’ve wanted to be there for all of my friends in their good and bad moments. Maegan and I would myspace each other each week because we just needed a friend to listen to us and respond in an encouraging way. Lord knows how many friends didn’t contact me about things because they felt like it would be a bother or that i wouldn’t be able to do anything.
    the truth is, Trev, you can still be a friend no matter the distance. That’s why i emailed the three of you to get that encouragement and support from you. i can’t tell you how much your response made my day! (you and Britni both made me laugh so hard, and it was a great way for me to start my morning!!)
    and Brandi is right; God has everything in control. what He does in our friends lives is under His sovereignty and if we get to be part of that experience, then awesome! but it’s not for us to fix or even worry about. we’re called, as His children, to love and encourage our friends and brothers and sisters in Christ in whatever way we can, no matter what our current situation is. this is something I need to start reminding myself of daily! 🙂
    Can’t wait to talk to you tonight! love you, friend!!

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