Today is not exactly the day that I wanted it to be. I think days like this are never technically wanted, hoped for, pinned for. It’s a day that you would always prefer to come tomorrow. Today we got a reality check. It has blind-sided me, leaving me rather disappointed that some stuff wasn’t clarified from the very get-go.
We had a meeting today with the Pastor. Basically, Sammy and I felt stuck as to what more we could do with the potential leaders we have… especially in Ilave. So, we called Pastor over to talk about stuff. We explained that nobody is coming to the church, for neither the Saturday night service nor the prayer service on Wednesday nights, and that the only people that do come are the people that live there in the house where we are renting but they show little commitment… rather none, to God and are not disciples in any shape or form.
At first the Pastor was pretty cool. He went through and told us we have no potential leaders if they themselves are not coming to church. He talked about what we needed to do there and it was good/hard stuff to hear, considering our time limit. Then, things turned a bit hairy when I asked him what is plans were for post-40/40. He kinda got upset with me and told me that he was going to put leaders there in the places where we were working and if there aren’t any then leaders from the north would be sent. I said… hmm I didn’t know that, which he told me, “obviously,” they wouldn’t leave these places. It kinda left me feeling like a heel. I told him he never told us that, but he said some other things that just made me feel worse, so I left it at that. I just wanted him to understand that I didn’t know that they were going to send other leaders and that made me feel a lot better, more equipped to do this work. It turned into a bit of a tizzy and I left it there. In the rest of the conversation I got the impression that he thought I just wanted to go home and that I thought my work here was done. If I wanted to go home, I would buy my ticket right now and be eating Taco Bell tonight! It was hard to sit there without saying anything, because I just wanted to explain myself, but he wasn’t open to hearing me.
Afterward, and after sitting down with Sammy to talk about what we are going to do next I feel like again… we are starting over. We are closing down the current local we are in in Ilave and we are searching for another, and we are going to do another kids festival. My hope, my encouragement is that these places aren’t going to be left. I wish I had known this sooner… and this really frustrates me, because I could’ve had such a different attitude about our work if I had known what was so “obvious.”
Even though today was mainly meetings, it was one of our hardest days. Now, I feel like I’m battling the enemy emotionally. My peanut butter/nutella sandwich sure helps a bit though (thanks Mom).
This past week I also found out that my grandpa is dying. He has cancer everywhere and they are saying he only has 4-6 months left. It’s very probable I won’t get to see him, but my dad said that he is okay with his fate and that he’s come to terms with it. So, I can’t be too upset about it. Jesus talking about hating our families is really coming alive to me through all of this. I’ll see Grandpa again. My eyes need to be on Christ.
Prayers are being answered in Juliaca. Efrain, the husband of Diana, the lady who’s adobe wall fell on her, asked us for discipleship lessons this past week. I was shocked! Apparently, he had come home one night after partying and told Diana that he wanted to change. Don’t stop praying for him, because now that he’s decided this Satan is going to try hard to dissuade him from continuing down this road.
P.S. after the meeting with Pastor I tried saying “well, that was a hard pill to swallow” and it came out “swill to pallow” it was a good mood lifter 🙂